Growing a curly tail

I love ham as much as the next guy, especially if he’s Homer Simpson. Yet even for a pork-o-phile like me, Argentina has tested my limits. In the six weeks we’ve been in the country, I have easily averaged one ham and cheese sandwich per diem. At my peak, I consumed four hammy, cheesy snacks in a single day.

But Brad, why don’t you try some self restraint? I can hear the questions reverberating around cyberspace even as I write.

So let me set the record straight. It is very difficult, if not impossible, to avoid the ham and cheese sandwich in Argentina. It exists on all menus in a multitude of formats. Ham and cheese medialuna (croissant), ham and cheese tostado, ham and cheese empanada, ham and cheese burger, ham and cheese chicken. I’m not making this up. And I could go on.

In fact, during a heavenly seven hours in the Ushuaia airport on the way to El Calafate, I had the opportunity to count the ham and cheese items on the menu in the café. Of 50 food items for sale, fully 40% involved ham and cheese. Seriously, 20 ham and cheese options on the menu. How could I resist?

If ham and cheese were an Olympic sport, the Argentines would be bringing home gold year in and year out. They are experts.

But my ambition forces me to give them a run for their money. Mmmm, ham.

With almost two months ahead of us in Argentina, my only fear is the very real possibility I will begin growing a short, curly tail before returning to the US.